That Door Has Long Closed

No dear, i'm not the same person who once begged. Years has passed, i've been through many ups and downs without you ever since, and nothing is the same. And yes, i still remember everything, your words, your birthday, your favorite for everything, and those pain. But time never turns back, and everything you just said was years too late. You still the same person you was, but never think for a second that i'm still the same person you knew. I have grown up. I'm growing up, and I will always grow up. So lets close the old story here. Take care and be happy.

Dear Miss Brightside

Before you talk something about YOU, words about YOUR feeling, quotes that describes YOU and YOUR tought, or everything YOU'VE done that makes YOURSELF think YOU are good, YOU'VE done everything right, YOU'RE the protagonist who always on the right side, just remember, there is me and other 7 billions of people that live in the same planet as you are who doesnt care about what youve done FOR THE SAKE OF YOURSELF. If you're that good why dont you marry yourself anyway. Stop talking too much - if its only about YOU.

Wallflowers

Yes we are wallflowers at the corner of a flower shop. Watch the world spinning. Watch the people picking. Faces pass, eyes glance at us, tell us we are beautiful, but then leave for the roses.

Rewriting Memories

Moving on is about rewriting memories.
Just like redecorating your room.
Memindah meja, mengubah posisi lemari, mengatur ulang arah tempat tidur.
Rasanya malas melakukannya kalau dekorasi kamar yang sekarang sudah nyaman.
But just do it! Do something new, do everything different way.
For a while we'll feel strange, but in time you'll surprise how you forget your old room decoration in no time at all.

From Stranger Back to Stranger

I wonder how will you remember me.

As childish guy who pretend to be dull
As a tanned skin guy with an old girl-like jacket
Or just one of blurry faces passed outside your door?

We live in different planet, after all
Sometimes when i miss you,
 the spaces, the distances,
 the truth that we will never meet again in this lifeline,

 is killing..

I dont believe myself anymore
I dont believe my dreams and plans
I dont believe my blogs

And i really hate today

Send it In A Letter, Make Yourself Feel Better

Perfect 'Me Time' adalah ketika gue punya segelas teh tarik panas, sekantung besar popcorn Indomaret, berada di depan blog sendiri, dan NGGAK PUNYA seseorang yang harus dipikirkan *ahak*
*Forever alone mode ON*

By the way, nggak kerasa yaa, ternyata hari ini blog ini tepat berusia 6 tahun loh! HBD my blog, GBU! *penting banget*. Ceritanya tadi iseng buka-buka blog ini, liat postingan pertama, eh ternyata kebetulan banget posting pertama saya di blog ini bertanggalkan hari ini, tepat 6 tahun yang lalu. Keren kaan? Dalam 6 tahun hanya pernah dibuka 66 kali (dan 99% dari trafik saya sendiri), nggak pernah ganti template, tanpa follower, dan blog ini masih eksis, sodara-sodara! I'm proud of it, perfect hideaway B-)

Apa kabar sixcycle ya, jangan-jangan blog saya yg satu itu bentar lagi masuk 1 dekade..

Well, barusan iseng baca-baca posting-posting lama di blog ini. Sekedar untuk mencari jejak-jejak kenangan lama yang mungkin masih bisa diingat. Haha, nggak pentiing ya. Saking selow-nya hidup gue -__-

Makin kesini makin ngakak-ngakak sendiri menyadari bahwa saya pernah sebegitu alay-nya. Nulis kata-kata cinta-cintaan lebay bin labil. Walaupun nggak disangkal ya, kadang gue masih pengen ngerasain gimana rasanya bener-bener suka lagi sama orang, sampai repot-repot nulis postingan berbau cinta-cintaan macem gitu.

Karena makin berumur, makin susah suka sama orang. Entah kapan terakhir kali gue suka sama orang yang bener-bener muncul dari perasaan, tanpa intervensi dari logika. Sekarang jadi ngerti kenapa banyak orang dewasa yang bilang true love doesn't exist. Karena intervensi dari logika kita. Gimana kita bisa mengagumi seseorang apa adanya, ketika logika kita berkata "memangnya bisa ngasih makan anak pake cinta", atau "enakan nyari yang udah mapan, biar nggak suram ntar".

Plain stupid. Fyuhh, saya benci jadi "dewasa" -__-

Ngomong-ngomong tentang dewasa, what is 'maturity' anyway? Akhir-akhir ini gue sering banget denger seseorang ngomong "ure just kid", "kekanak-kanakan", dsb. What's maturity anyway? Financially settled, know how to behave, gentle, open-minded, whatever? Kalau memang iya, bahkan orang 'dewasa' pun tetap bisa melakukan hal-hal bodoh, menyimpang, dan keluar dari norma. Well for me, maturity is knowing what's right and what's wrong. That's all. Screw with behave, settle, gentle, or whatever.

Ah sudahlah, makin ngaco aja tulisan gue. Mendadak jadi hilang mood buat nulis. See ya next time.

Singkat, padat, dan jelas. Hanya empat kata, tapi cukup membuatku sadar bahwa saya memang sedang dibutakan oleh sesuatu. Thanks..

Well, sudut pandang orang ketiga yang netral memang bisa jadi sumber referensi saat kita sedang salah arah. Karena berfikir positif kadang menipu.

I know this feels so wrong. I know something's not right. All i dont know is how to stop :(
God I promise this is the last time i falling for someone, and i'm sorry :(

Okay forget it. By the way, terakhir saya posting di sini tertanggal 1 september 2009. Itu lebih dari empat tahun yang lalu. Hahha.. Blog satunya udah mulai rame, nggak enak dibuat frontal. Dan akhirnya saya kembali ke blog ini buat pelarian, biar nggak ada yang baca :D

So how's life? For me it's rollercoasting, fyuuhh..

Kadang butuh bertahun-tahun untuk melakukan rutinitas yang sama. Berkeliling-keliling di dalam kotak sabun yang kita anggap sebagai "hidup". Tanpa makna.
Namun kadang hanya butuh 30 menit untuk mendengar kata-kata yang bisa merubah pandangan statis itu, menyadari bahwa ada hal-hal yang harus dirubah dalam diri kita. Bahwa kesalahan-kesalana kecil yang lama-lama membatu menjadi sesuatu yang terlalu samar untuk dirasa, seharusnya tak lagi ada seiring bertambahnya usia.

Hadeeh, ngomong apa sih saya -__-
Just to remembering myself about that importat 30 minutes in my life.

Dear myself in the future, promise me you're better than me..

Lei In my Autumn Azalea

lace that ignites my abiding avenue
lot of imbalance attraction
lemonade ice with an acerbity absinth
lovelike on an immature accent
she's lei in my autumn azalea

If there's always a "busy" icon on your "mend a broken heart" status, i think it's useless for me to put up a "busy just for you" anytime..

It Hurts

It hurts,
when you think you're the one for her,
but she thinks that you're just one of them

Thanks to You

She's no one, but i've got really motivated by her smile..
Well, thanks!

We'll Never Know

And we're not gonna live forever
Can you tell me is it now or never
I'm not gonna make up your mind

I don't wanna live without you
And I don't wanna live a lie
We'll never know till we try
Yeah we'll never know till we try
Lifehouse - We'll Never Know

A lyric that always pull me up from fallen by you

Hard To Say

I feel so far away
So so far away from where I belong

Feel so deep deep lost in the world i cant stay into
The world where i should't came in

The world full of things i cant understand
So confusing, so restless

Sometimes i feel strong enough to through it alone
Sometimes i feel good enough to stand by myself

But sometimes i cant really take it
but sometimes i feel that i'm just a kid that lost in this cruel place
Like a child left alone in the rain
Too limp to bear the confusion by my small hands
Just a naivie in this liar world
Just a kid that lost in this mature world

Hard to say but i feel so weak and lonely
Hard to say but i need hands to catch my falls
Hard to say but i need embraces to keep me safe
To say that i'm not alone in this unfair world

Hanya Padamuuu.....!!!!

~on listening Mayday, I'm in Love - D'Cinnamons~

Cuma kamu yang bisa membuatku tertawa sendiri
saat memandang wajahmu

Cuma kamu yang ada dalam benakku
saat memandangi bintang-bintang di malam hari

Cuma kamu yang kuharap akan bertemu
saat aku berada di tempat yang menyenangkan

Cuma kamu yang bisa membuatku bersemangat kembali
saat aku merasa lelah

Cuma kamu yang bisa membuatku benar-benar
merasa putus asa

Cema kamu yang bisa mencurinya lagi dan lagi
seberapapun kucoba memalingkan hatiku

Seberapapun kucoba untuk memberikannya pada yang lain
pada akhirnya rasa ini tetap kembali padamu

Cuma kamu yang bisa membuatku jatuh cinta
berulang kali seperti ini

I Really HAte

I really hate them!! The comment spammers! Just go to hell, please!

Kekalahan, keputusasaan, dan pengakuan atas ketidakberdayaan??
Huh,, yeah, maybe you're right..
But is it too obvious to see it in me now? Huh..
Damn..

By the way, today is a complicated day. Once again, never thought i would be here now. In this confusing position. Every fun i did was never felt fun. Every sweet i taste just felt bitter. Just cant keep myself from thinking of
something

Hmm, Knapa Jadi Begeneee???!!!!

Kacao neh.. Knapa bisa jade begene..
Huph. Life is so so unpredictable. All the plan we've made, it's spinning around, it's upside down, within so so little time. Huph. Life's always like this.
Never know where it ends, never know what's gonna happen. Actually, i never thought it's gonna be like this. Never ever ever thought, even just for a while.

Huph. Nothing. Maybe it's fun too. Hmph..

Menyerah

Di sinilah akhir dari semuanya. Tak ada lagi kata-kata "takkan berakhir". Tak ada lagi "berjalan sempurna". Tak ada lagi keyakinan-keyakinan itu. Tak ada lagi mimpi-mimpi itu. Takkan terwujud semua angan indah itu. Menyerah di balik bayangmu, yang semakin menjauh pergi.

Another Three Words

Another three words, stuck in my mind, completing the previous anagram:
"Wonder" "Do", and "Me?"
Huph..